Ripples on the Lake

     Maria sat by my side.  I put my arm around her and tried to focus on what she was saying.  It was a warm spring day in New York but I felt cold inside.

     ‘Hey, are you listening to me?’ she asked.

     ‘Hmmm, sorry I was miles away…what were you saying?’

     ‘I said that my driving instructor said that I’m nearly ready for my test so hopefully we can take that trip we’ve been talking about soon…I’m excited, Joe, I love this city but I want to get away for a while, just the two of us, alone…’ she droned on for a bit longer until she gently pushed me over.

     ‘Hey, what’s the matter with you?’ she said, ‘why aren’t you listening to me?’

     ‘What are you doing?  I am listening!’

     ‘Do you even still want to take this trip?’

     I didn’t answer.

     We sat in silence for a bit and watched the lake ripple gently from the cool breeze that had started up.  She rubbed the small of my back whilst removing a few strands of chestnut hair from her eyes.

     ‘Are you ok with me,’ she asked, ‘you’re being awfully quiet?’

     ‘I’m fine.’

     ‘Well you don’t seem fine,’ she said as she stopped rubbing my back.

     ‘I’m fine,’ I repeated.

      A young girl stood at the edge of the lake and called for her friend.

     ‘If you don’t want to take this trip then just say…I don’t want to make plans that you obviously don’t want to be a part of!’

     I remained silent.

     ‘Fine,’ she said, ‘that’s fine, Joe, at least I know where I stand now.’

     I exhaled slowly and pulled her towards me.

     ‘It’s not that I don’t want to go on a trip with you, it’s just…’

     ‘It’s just what, Joe?’

     ‘It’s just that I don’t know if I can…’

     ‘What is that supposed to mean?’ she asked as she pulled away.

     ‘I received a letter this morning, Maria,’ I said, ‘I went for some tests a few weeks ago and...’

     ‘Tests?’ she interrupted, ‘tests for what, Joe…what’s the matter?’

     ‘Cancer…I went for tests for cancer.’

     ‘What?’ she whispered.

     ‘Cancer…I have cancer,’ I quietly said, ‘I won’t live past summer…or so they say anyway.’

     We sat in silence and watched the ripples coming slowly in and dying by the edge of the lake in their own way.

     The young girl still called for her friend.


Tomas Bird - Coaltown 2014